HE SAYS: Petal Power

They’re not a priority for most blokes, but odds are your wedding will be full of them. What to do about flowers…

Few things are as likely to throw a bloke into a headspin as flowers. The fact that we use the chopped off sex organs of plants as decoration is not only confusing, it’s downright weird.

And when do you normally buy flowers? When you’ve done something that needs apologising for (if you answered “when you’re at the service station,” just do yourself a favour and leave now).  But it’s a tradition to have flowers at weddings, so delve into this murky subject we must. Flowers are really outrageously expensive and you can’t really use them again. But so is a wedding dress, and try telling your fiancée she doesn’t need one of those.

Can you get away without flowers? The short answer is yes – these days there are heaps of alternatives. If you’re dead set on something in a vase, an increasing number of florists are offering various stick and wicker arrangements that are very pretty, don’t die, and can either be kept or given away to guests at the end of the festivities. If you’re going for a hipster wedding kind of vibe, you could do the same thing with terrariums. Or if you’re really set on bringing that budget down, you could kill two birds with one stone and opt for cupcake towers (one of the metaphorical birds is a cake).

In all likelihood, though, you’re going to end up with flowers. It might be tempting to roll your eyes and abdicate responsibility. Do not do this. There are hundreds of varieties of flower and you will no doubt find some of them very ugly (pink tulips, for example). Get involved and fight the good fight for white lilies (yes, even though they’re “funeral flowers”, you big square).

Or just pop down to the servo on your wedding day and try and order 30 bunches of daffodils. Hope that goes well for you.

Story by Alex McClintock

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