HE SAYS: The Question of Kids

If you don't have them, how do you know when the time is right—or if you should bother at all...?

I used to say to myself that I’d have kids between 27 and 30. Obviously that was contingent on finding a woman who was not only willing to do the fun part of the whole babymaking thing, but also to carry said baby around for nine months.

Now that I’m 25, that plan seems kind of rushed. Kids tend to cramp your style, especially if your style is going on international drinking holidays with your mates. Many dudes agree with me, but more importantly, lots of women do too—the average age of Australian women at first birth is at an all-time high… 28.9 years.

Essentially, deciding when you’re going to have kids is a trade off. You can get your fun/drinking/carousing/career out of the way while you’re young and have kids late, but it might be a struggle to keep up with them on your Zimmer frame when they’re running mud through the house. If you have them while you’re young, you get to be a DILF, but by the time they grow up there’s a concern you might be too old to properly enjoy all the free time.

These days, marriage isn’t even a prerequisite if you want to have kids. Traditionalists will tell you that married parents provide the most stable environment for children to grow up in, but I don’t buy it. In reality, if you’re part of a long-term, de-facto relationship and have children, you have pretty much the exact same rights and responsibilities as your married friends. “Living in sin” even sounds way cooler, and an increasing number of couples are choosing not to have children at all.

Which raises the question: can couples with kids remain friends with childless couples? Of course they can, as long as their children are properly sedated at social events.

Story by Alex McClintock

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